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Writer's pictureMark Lipton

Call Her Easy-Off!

Guy spent much of the day Saturday scrubbing the oven. And then the rest of the kitchen!


With the loud sighs, heavy exhales and scratching of steel wool and Swiffer’s on their respective surfaces, you could hear she was working hard.


Which is why I had to turn the sound up on the Buckeye game!


When the game ended, I offered help. “Do you want me to take some chopped meat out of the freezer so you can make meatballs for dinner?” I asked thinking that they’re easier to make after a day of cleaning than stuffed peppers!


OK, Chines food it is.


After the hours spent cleaning, she walked me into the kitchen for THE reveal. I knew the rules: tell her it looks amazing!


And she knew the drill: I was lying and that there was little she could do to get me to care what the inside of an oven looks like, unless there is a roast in there!


I also knew better than to say, “You know that this is a self-cleaning oven, right?” But pointing to the button which says self-cleaning while asking, “What does this button do?” was not much wiser.




I don’t mind hard work. But if the oven believes it can clean itself, who am I to tell it otherwise?


This week, I spoke to five dealers whose businesses had been significantly affected by either a Covid outbreak or a serious exposure in their stores. I’m aware that there are political differences in the country presently regarding whether or not Covid is a plague on our house or a hoax, so I’ll let history be the judge of that. But to dealers nervous for the health of their co-workers, customers and families, and who are left short-handed handed at the counter, the effects of the Covid-19 pandemic are real.


It’s difficult for me to imagine the challenges of owning a retail business in this environment and I wish them all good luck in getting through until tomorrow; which will be better day.


Thursday is Thanksgiving, which Guy and I plan on celebrating at home alone with a turkey breast, a box of Stove-Top stuffing (add Italian sausage, you can thank me later) and a bag of brussel sprouts. Thanksgiving 2020 will pass with a whimper, but it will not pass unnoticed.


Though we have all been battered by 2020 in ways which few of us had ever conceived before the year began. I still find though, that with a little (extra) effort, I can see that I have plenty to be thankful for.


The most amazing young woman, my daughter Miranda-THE Buck, continues to fill my eyes and ears (via FaceTime now) with enough insanity that I always have something to write about. And in case it’s not clear, she is laughing right along with you! You know you’re with the right company when they say, “Yes, you can blog that!” Before you even ask the question. Like all parents, I am thankful that she is happy, healthy and calls even when she isn’t looking for money. And thankful for our unique conection.


At the end of every great love, is pain. My father’s passing in June brought pain to the last three people that he would have ever wanted to hurt: me, my sister Marci and my mother Bobbie. Each day we continue to do what my father Billy would have implored: shoulder the burden and keep walking. He would have wanted us to laugh a little more than we are currently. That will come! But for today, I remain thankful for the core four of 11 Woodlands Avenue in White Plains.


Even minus one, we are a fortunate family.


I make a lot of mistakes. I know this because I have a woman living with me who makes it her mission to point out as many of them as she can!


I keep her busy.


But between the jokes, my fiancée Guy and I share a deep affection which I am thankful to be half of. Though I am not the better half!


If you hang around me enough you will hear me refer to Guy as my girlfriend, my fiancée and my wife, interchangeably. The title doesn’t matter. You can call her Easy-Off because she cleans the oven, but she still owns my heart.


And of-course I am thankful for all of you.


A collection of thousands of paint people from store clerks to CEO’s you are the audience every writer dreams of having. Thank you always for reading what I create for you. I am grateful you give me your time.


Whether you are having a turkey sandwich by yourself or a platter from a feast, please be safe and thankful on this very strange Thanksgiving 2020.


I’ll be back on Monday.








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